Dear Guys Who Don’t Don’t “Date”,
In the crowds on campus and between the sweaty bodies at the bar you’ve met her. She seems pretty great even without the beer goggles. Total win. Greatest part is that you’ve even mastered the number exchange down which led to texting. Both of you seem interested and even are willing to see each other sober. As the week goes on, this girl from last weekend looks like the kick off for your next one. At this point you could say things are going well, you’re into her. After texting for a while, you assure her that you’re excited to see her. As the week unfolds, so does a plan to see her next Friday night.
But it seems that this plan in your mind is just a hang out, but in our minds it’s something else.
So… how did that happen? You want to see us again? You managed to imply a date without ever using the word. Sure seems like you’re into us. When did the idea of dating actually fall of the face of the earth?
The whole “wanna come over and watch a movie” plan can be sweet, but it’s not all that mind-blowing especially in the beginning when it’s exciting and new. Mind you we’re not blind to the fact that your couch can easily transform into something more horizontal. And to be honest, how well can you get to know someone else when the actors in the movie are doing all the talking? Somehow your room became the setting instead of a place on State Street.
Called out, we know exactly what is going on.
Don’t pretend that a movie was in the plans all along. The plans of the night have completely taken on a new agenda. The average boy’s weekend is made up of binge-drinking and sports games Thursday–Saturday and then the recovery on Sunday. Yet, there is enough time to set aside to hang out in the dark but not a date.
The texts that girls receive with these slight change in plans are well camouflaged booty calls. I’m both frustrated and annoyed by this. As much as I am the “I-don’t-take-no-manipulating-shit-from-nobody” kinda gal, I know that I am still newly single and new on campus so I’m willing to ignore the minor change of plans to explore. In all honestly, that’s something as girls we’ve got to stop let happening. What is this? A date? a friend-hang out maybe something more?
My point is..Take us out, doesn’t have to be fancy but putting in an effort shows you’re interested just as much as we are. If you like us, show it. Demanding? I say no, dates should be expected not the exception. Don’t get me wrong hanging out is definitely part of the process, just not the entire thing. I would like to think that the nerves of asking a girl out makes the “yes” for a date that much better in the end. The effort you put in to just ‘hang’ is minimal which translates that your interest is minimal or solely interested in our bodies. I’m not saying it’s mandatory to go out every weekend but once in a while would be a nice change than the hammy-down futon.
Girls are still hanging out, settling for excuses of no time or not wanting to be committed. As much fun as it is to cuddle up on another couch from the early Britney Spears era, I’m not the type of girl who is willing to test the very fine line of just a hook-up or the “super chill” new girl who isn’t so strung up about going out on dates. While I’m here frustrated about the lack of asking on the guy end, I’m speaking for most of my female peers.What I’m getting at is you should ask me out not just hang out. To go out on a real live date.. you know in public. Plus, there is a higher chance of being rewarded for your efforts. So boys, let me tell you a secret: You may not be paying the bill now, but trust me guys you’ll start to pay in other ways soon. Wine and dine me, you won’t regret it.
Lindsey and Most Other College Girls
P.S. I fully support girls who are confident and willing to flip the asking scenario. If you’re not happy about not being asked out say something. Shit, ask him yourself.